White Noise

I miss my camera. I dropped my lovely Sony 10mp hd camera when it fell from it's tripod. That was a week ago. For this past school weekend, I've been sleep walking, or so it feels. I never had a full 10 hours of sleep, an average 6 hours, which isn't that healthy. Today in school, i had to finish a test for math. And guess who was behind me? Nicole. Let me tell you about this girl named Nicole. We were friends two years ago. Then she forgot about me and my other friends, and went to take her seat next to "popular" people. I don't hate her that much, but from the glares she gives me, it feels like she doesn't like me that much. I actually feel sorry for her, as crazy as it sounds. She's not doing well in school, and cares too much about how she looks. She is a pretty girl, but is learning the wrong way. She's failing Spanish, and I'm skipping a grade in Spanish. I care a lot about my academic performance and she doesn't. She needs a wake-up call. Anyway, while i was finishing my test, it turns out i didn't have time, so I'm getting an automatic 12 point deduction. After i heard that, i felt nauseous. I was going to be sick. I missed half of my lunch period. I had barely anything for breakfast and nothing for lunch. I wanted to cry. As pathetic as it sounds, i care a lot about school, i want high levels. I don't care how i look while I'm at school, it's not a fashion contest, as everyone thinks it is. All the rumors and gossip, are just there out of boredom, pathetic, but somehow amusing to people. It's really sad what has become of our public schools in America, but the students have basically no power, so i have to suck it up. I want my camera back, to capture the beauty that's forgotten. Every one's forgetting what's around us, myspace is brainwashing, my reasons for deleting mine. If it's for contacting people, that's different. I just....don't know. I never did. I wish i did. Tomorrow my fate in high school math in middle school will come, here comes the nausea. More to come...



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