Confusion?

Today was blahish. A forgettable school day that will decay and fade in like a week. It's been said a trillion times, but i miss my camera. I'm not one when it comes to complainer, but I'm only human [i have my moments] I could rant on about pointless stuff and just generally stupid things that will wash-over in a week. I hate keeping everything locked up inside for so long and then you explode out of your own anger. That's why i have a blogger. Without this my mind would be jammed with thoughts that i could never get out. Nobody listens to me anyway, I'm just another student that makes up the total student body. My opinion doesn't matter. Anyway, i feel really forgotten. My friends talk to me, but were having this party for my selfless friend and i feel jealous. Yes, she really does truly deserve that party, but the process in which the party is being made, i feel forgotten, but i don't' want to cry for attention. That would just be pathetic. I wish i had a party, but i know that's not going to happen, I'm not that selfless. I do care about others, but i care about myself, but i wouldn't indulge myself. I'm not like those girls at school who are really self-conscious either. That just drives me nuts. But, what am i going to do? I can't change how annoying people could be, but if they are all normal and ordinary and clones, that would bother me as well. I have really random thoughts, things that aren't on topic. But, being on topic is boring, everything is way too predictable, as Marilyn Monroe says, it's better to be completely ridiculous than absolutely boring. M.M. is right. I rather be "out there" than just another waste of space. I'm not like the average teenager in some ways. I love photography. Just taking pictures is something i really like to do. I have a flickr account, but ever since i dropped my camera, i haven't been able to update it. It's been driving me nuts? Has anyone ever walked down the street or been in the car, and there comes this moment when you see an amazing Kodak moment. It just happens. No explanation. And then when you try to find your camera to capture this moment for forever it's gone. Now the lovely imaged is only lodged in your brain, which will forget about what you've just witnessed in a week, due to your attention span and things changing. I hate that feeling. I wish i could just go back in time. But, life doesn't have a flying car like Back To The Future. Which sucks.